Are you always second guessing whether you have done the right thing in life? Made the right decision? Completed a job to a satisfactory standard? Or excelled on the blind date even? Self-doubts can lead to agonising bouts of negative thoughts and will shatter any feelings of confidence and lower your self-esteem if left unchecked.
It can certainly seem impossible to break out of this circle of negativity but it’s vital that you make a stand and start to make more positive decisions and stick by them.
It’s okay to stop and consider why you have doubts but often there is a much deeper reason as to why you lack confidence rather than any decision that you may have made. If you have been challenged beyond previous expectations, you may even have put untold pressure on yourself and this can lead to you doubting your own abilities.
Do you find yourself often repeating damaging negative thoughts such as I’m not good enough to do this?’ These thoughts can stop you from not only progressing in life but from even experiencing these challenges and relishing them.
You need to tame those negative thoughts and stop them in their tracks before they become too damaging. Every time that a negative self-doubt pops into your mind, banish it and instead relish the fact that it’s a new day and one with unlimited opportunities. The more that you can do this, the better you will be able to control these thoughts. With control come increased confidence and a boost to your self-esteem.
Don’t give yourself a hard time if you succumb occasionally to feelings of negativity. This behaviour of damaging self-talk may have been ingrained for many years, so it won’t disappear overnight. The moment that realisation dawns that you have slipped into old behaviours, mentally check yourself and give yourself an emotional hug. Awareness is the key aspect to changing your life and once you re-invent the way that you think, you will be halfway to turning your life around.
Everybody makes mistakes and you are no exception. Learn from your mistakes but do not harbour feelings of guilt or shame. It doesn’t make you bad, merely human.
When self-doubts creep in, make a note of them and then turn the damaging first phrase around into a positive one:
-I’m not the right person for the job, I’m rubbish in Interviews
-The job might challenge me but I’m going to excel in the interview and show them what I’m made of
Write a list of all of the positive aspects that make you into the person you are. You will find that there are many more positives about you than negative qualities and once you recognise this, you will see and feel an improvement generally.